An Athlete's Mom

I am writing this as a poignant reflection of the recent bus crash carrying  #HumboldtBroncos Jr. Hockey Team, taking away 10 athlete's lives, their coach and 4 others. Our family may not be a hockey family, but we are in deep mourning of this tragedy. We are, first and foremost, a Canadian Family in part, an Athlete's Family and a family who loves hockey. We are sending our sincere condolences to all the bereaved family and friends. As a mom, I am sending all my spiritual strength to all the bereaved moms who are going through this loss.

I can't imagine the pain, the deep sorrow, the anguish of these athletes' moms, or of all the moms who went through a loss like this. Or of ANY mom who went through a loss of a child.

As a mom of a competitive gymnast for more than a year now, I still have trepidation everytime Khloe goes to train for gymnastics, or competes on a bar or the beam events. Same trepidation I felt when I saw that victorious smile on her face when she tried an assisted cartwheel at 3y.o. on her first gymnastics class. And I think most, if not all, moms can attest to this, that there will always be THAT feeling, be the child an athlete or not. Maybe, just a different level of trepidation for an athlete's mom.

For those travelling athletes,  whose parents cannot come with them all the time, that waiting-period of parents for their athletes to be home is always heart-pounding. A game's WIN is nothing compared to that heart-warming embrace a child can give to their parents. Knowing that they are home, in your arms, is the GOLD or the WINNING TROPHY  any athlete can give to their parents. And for those parents who are with their athletes during training or competition: the simple fact of bringing their athletes home, all in piece -- with no broken bones, is way, way more important than winning medals or trophies. As parents and as moms, this is our ultimate wish.

Personally, my bitter-sweet surrender for Khloe to go competitive is a journey by itself. As a mom, I was so torn on whether or not to sign her. The invitation for her to join the ODP program was so fast, leaving us a whirlwind of chaotic adjustments on our schedules and individual lives. All my trepidation was set aside, to let me focus on how to organized our crazy-enough scheduled lives. UNTIL competition hit. Until I saw her swinging on the bars. Up on the beam. That rotten feeling came back again. Got worst when after a year, she levelled up to Women's Artistic Gymnastic proper. When the swinging on the bar gets harder. When the choreography on the beam gets tougher. When the scoring is not about how pretty they are doing the skills, but by how many errors and deduction they would do instead. As Khloe's mom, I hold my breath everytime she is up on the bar, or on the beam. I might be holding my camera, but my heart is pounding and hoping that she won't fall and hurt herself. I am first and foremost her mom. And I will feel this way forever.

Hence, I have very HIGH respect for those moms of every athletes who do sports that have more physical contact with others, or more dangerous than Khloe's gymnastics. I always believe that what we all feel is the same. Our fears are the same. Our hopes and wishes are the same.

We just want our child to be safe, be that on triumphs and or losses!
We will forever support what they love!
We will forever pray for their safety!
We are a parent!
We are a mom!